Much ado about nothing english

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much ado about nothing english

Much Ado About Nothing by William Shakespeare

Much Ado About Nothing, abridged.

CLAUDIO: So, um, Hero, I sorta maybe like you a whole lot will you go to the prom with me?

HERO: We should get married! Squeeeeeee!

BEATRICE: Pfft. Love is for stupid losers who are stupid.

BENEDICK: You know, you might get laid more often if you weren’t such a cynical bitch all the time.

BEATRICE: Fuck you.

BENEDICK: Get in line, sugartits.

*audience is beaten over the head by sexual tension*

DON PEDRO: Hey everybody, I had a great idea! Let’s make Beatrice and Benedick fall in love!

EVERYONE: YAY! MEDDLING!

PRINCE JOHN: So, I think I’m going to break up Claudio and Hero.

BORACHIO: Really? That’s your dastardly scheme? How do we possibly benefit from that?

PRINCE JOHN: No, see, I don’t like Claudio because my half-brother likes him, and I hate my half brother, so…wait. Okay, so it’s actually a really pointless plan that only serves to create conflict. But it’s the only way I get any good scenes in this thing, so MISCHIEF AHOY!

BORACHIO AND CONRADE: YAY!

BEATRICE: Hey Benedick, you still suck donkey balls.

BENEDICK: I fart in your general direction! Now go away or I shall taunt you a second time!

BEATRICE: I dont want to talk to you no more, you empty-headed animal food trough wiper!

PRINCE JOHN: So guess what Claudio? Your woman totally cheated on you. I saw, I was there.

CLAUDIO: OMG I HATE THAT WHORE.

DON PEDRO: Despite the fact that he’s a bastard in all senses of the word and has no reason to be helping me or my friends, I think we should believe John without proof or even asking Hero’s side of the story.

CLAUDIO: Hero, you’re a shameless whore and I hate your stupid face!

EVERYONE: WTF?!

PRIEST: Great job, now Hero’s dead from sad.

CLAUDIO: OMG I AM SO REMORSEFUL. FORGIVE ME, DEAD HERO!

HERO: Pysche! I’m really okay!

BEATRICE: Luckily THIS time the priest’s idea to fake a girl’s death to solve all her problems actually worked, instead of backfiring horribly.

BENEDICK: Hey, that’s pretty funny. You know, I guess you’re not that bad. I think I love you, and stuff.

BEATRICE: Yeah, I guess I kind of love you too.

ANTONIO: Close enough. Now off to kill Prince John!

EVERYONE: YAY!

THE END.
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Published 14.12.2018

Much Ado About Nothing

And though they swear that they hate each other, their friends feel convinced that Beatrice and Benedick are in love. And will the lies of Don John--Don Pedro’s jealous illegitimate brother--bring down the lovers Hero and Claudio? In Much Ado About Nothing, Shakespeare showcases.
William Shakespeare

Much Ado About Nothing

Don Pedro proposes to disguise himself as Claudio and do the wooing for him at a masked ball. Hearing of his intent, Don John resolves to thwart him. After a variety of confusions, the wedding is publicly agreed, while Claudio, Hero, Don Pedro and Leonato resolve to trick Benedick and Beatrice into falling in love. The night before the wedding — interspersed with comic scenes involving Dogberry, the inept Constable of the Watch — Don John deceives Don Pedro and Claudio into believing they have seen Hero with another lover. The next day, the three of them accuse her of falsehood at the altar.

All rights reserved. Act 1, Scene 1. Leonato is chatting with a messenger about a recent battle. Don Pedro, the Prince of Arragon and Leonato's friend , has been on the war front and is on his way home. Leonato chats with his brother, Antonio, who is bursting with gossip.

Messenger He is very near by this: he was not three leagues off when I left him. Messenger But few of any sort, and none of name. I find here that Don Peter hath bestowed much honour on a young Florentine called Claudio.
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Be Book-Smarter.

Much Ado About Nothing is a comedy by William Shakespeare thought to have been written in and , as Shakespeare was approaching the middle of his career. The play was included in the First Folio , published in By means of "noting" which, in Shakespeare's day, sounded similar to "nothing" as in the play's title, [1] [2] and which means gossip, rumour, and overhearing , Benedick and Beatrice are tricked into confessing their love for each other, and Claudio is tricked into rejecting Hero at the altar on the erroneous belief that she has been unfaithful. At the end, Benedick and Beatrice join forces to set things right, and the others join in a dance celebrating the marriages of the two couples. In Messina , a messenger brings news that Don Pedro, a prince from Aragon , will return that night from a successful battle, Claudio being among his soldiers. Beatrice, niece of Leonato, a governor of Messina, asks the messenger about Benedick, Don Pedro's companion, and makes sarcastic remarks about his ineptitude as a soldier. Leonato explains that "There is a kind of merry war betwixt Signor Benedick and her.

Themes Motifs Symbols Key Facts. Act 1 Scene 1. I learn in this letter that Don Pedro of Aragon comes this. He is very near by this. He was not three leagues off when. He must be very near by now. When I left him, he was less than nine miles from here.

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3 COMMENTS

  1. Christien G. says:

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  2. Clementine S. says:

    Beatrice and Benedick are always squabbling.

  3. Peter S. says:

    Enter LEONATO, Governor of Messina;HERO, his daughter; and BEATRICE his niece, with a MESSENGER. Don Pedro of Aragon and his army are coming to Messina tonight. This letter also says that Don Pedro has given honors to a young man from Florence named Claudio.

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