I feel anxious in my relationship

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i feel anxious in my relationship

Insecure in Love: How Anxious Attachment Can Make You Feel Jealous, Needy, and Worried and What You Can Do About It by Leslie Becker-Phelps

I got this as a first reads giveaway. First, I should say I am biased against self-help books, especially those about relationships. I wanted it to give to a particular friend who does suffer from some severe relationship anxiety. I also wanted to read it before giving it to her, not only as it is the spirit of first reads, but as a trained counselor, I wanted to ensure the information would help rather than cause more harm to her. I must say I was pleasantly surprised. Attachment theory is interesting on its own, and Dr Becker-Phelps does a wonderful job of explaining the theory as it relates to adult romantic relationships as well as all interpersonal relationships. I confess, I did not do any of the activities, again because I was reading it for a friend rather than looking for insight into myself. It is meant to be used essentially as a workbook to analyze the readers attachment style, motivations, and concerns. That being said, the techniques discussed in the book are all valid and have years of research to back up their success. Dr Becker-Phelps includes short anecdotes to demonstrate not only the therapeutic techniques, but also some of the common issues found in relationships where attachment has been an issue. The anecdotes are very helpful to assist the reader in identifying issues within their relationships they may not be aware of on a conscious level. Even though I wasnt reading this for myself, it did offer insights into my relationships with people and the style I use when interacting with others.
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How To Stop Your Anxiety From Screwing Up A Great Relationship

Want to overcome relationship anxiety and insecurity? Try these hypnotherapy MP3s. Click here to learn more. You worry about all kinds of things that could negatively impact or end your relationship. You might live with constant levels of underlying anxiety about your relationship, or small, seemingly insignificant things might trigger waves of it. Even the most insignificant disagreement between you and your partner has your stomach churning with fear that your chances of a happily-ever-after have well and truly bitten the dust.

It makes others feel as you might when a drowning man holds on to you. You want to save him, but you know he will strangle you with his panic. When a relationship causes anxiety , we are groomed to believe our relationship anxiety is the problem. If we feel anxious, most of us believe we need to get ourselves under control lest we ruin our relationship. Something important that we needed to hear? Anxiety can actually be a powerful help to you.

Intimate relationships are a mirror, reflecting the best and the worst of all of us. People with anxiety often have these by the truckload and will give them generously to the relationship. The problem is that anxiety can sometimes just as quickly erode them.
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Overcoming Your Relationship Anxiety

Below, therapists share six ways to keep your anxiety in check during the beginning of a relationship and as it progresses., Dating someone with anxiety issues or an anxiety disorder can be horribly stressful.

Don't worry: Relationship anxiety is completely normal. Whether you've been dating someone for a short time, are longtime partners, or you've been married for a few years now, feeling stressed about the state of your romantic partnership isn't at all unusual. To learn more about how to deal with this common relationship problem , we asked Alysha Jeney, a counselor who runs her own private practice called Modern Love Counseling , to weigh in on the topic. According to Jeney, one of the root causes of anxiety is fear. When it comes to relationship anxiety, some of the fears whether they're conscious or subconscious could include "rejection, abandonment, fear of being authentic, fear of intimacy, or unresolved trauma from past relationships," says Jeney.

If you have an anxiety disorder, then you already know it can make life way more difficult than it needs to be. It likely impacts how you feel at work, while out with friends, and it may even keep you up at night. But anxiety can also affect your relationship by introducing stress, doubt, worry — and the mistakes and arguments that can come about as a result. When you see the world through an anxiety-riddled lens, it can be tough to know what's worth worrying about, and what isn't. This might lead you to feel insecure in your relationship , to shut down during arguments, or to come off as passive aggressive when communicating with your partner. While it's definitely not your fault, it's always helpful to bear in mind how anxiety might be coloring the way you see things, so that you can start shifting in a healthier direction. If it feels like anxiety is truly holding you back, you might even decide to treat it — both for your sake and the sake of your relationship.


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