Start of a quip by joan rivers
Joan Rivers Quotes (Author of I Hate Everyone... Starting with Me)
Remembering Joan Rivers: Her 20 Best Quotes About Love & Sex
Trailblazing comedian Joan Rivers never shied away from outrageous humor, fearlessly lampooning her friends, fellow celebrities, and, most of all, herself. Thanks for the laughs, Joan. If God had wanted me to bend over, he would have put diamonds on the floor. When I want lemon on chicken, I spray it with Pledge. They want to know you met Rihanna.
UPDATE: As we mark one year since the untimely passing of Joan Rivers , who better to turn to for some straight and hilarious talk about matters of life and death than the icon herself? Preach, Joan, we're still listening. The legendary comedienne, who died Thursday at age 81 , often found humor in otherwise grim topics. I am definitely going to be cremated," she said. I've said to Melissa , 'Sell anything and everything you don't want.
Rivers acted and performed comedy for 55 years, writing most of her own material. She was known for her unapologetically blunt humor and she was egalitarian about it, too: nobody was safe from becoming the butt of a Joan Rivers joke, including Rivers herself. So, in honor of the iconic comedienne TIME has gathered just a few of her best jokes:. People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made. I am definitely going to watch the Emmys this year! All my mother told me about sex was that the man goes on top and the woman on the bottom. For three years my husband and I slept in bunk beds.
The late comedienne was the queen of the quick quip and the scathing put-down. Celebrate Joan Rivers' wit with her 11 best one-liners If God had wanted me to bend over, he would have put diamonds on the floor. For me that would be a shroud. Once it hits, I might tell my best joke and never know it. I want Craft services, I want paparazzi and I want publicists making a scene! I want it to be Hollywood all the way.
Goodreads helps you follow your favorite authors. Be the first to learn about new releases! Follow Author. You make the beds, you wash the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again. If I can't make it through one door, I'll go through another door -- or I'll make a door. Something terrific will come no matter how dark the present.