5 kinds of love in the bible
The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts by Gary Chapmanthis book is a tool through which the author, gary chapman, can play out his jesus-complex disguised as a relationship self-help book. there are references from the bible throughout almost every chapter and gary likes to include generous praise from his clients who call him a miracle worker. its damn-near pretty close to being called god.
the book has all the hallmarks of a bestseller: easy to read (i read it in one day); hopeless circumstances that seem beyond repair; and an uplifiting ending. the more bestsellers i read, the more i realize that the formula for mainstream media isnt just used in music and movies, its used in books, too. ugh, how annoying. i admit, i was almost sold on it, too. the author used just the right amount of despair and at the appropriate moments, instilled hope for a better future. and while hope isnt bad at all, the book lacks in addressing the complexity of relationships as well as the diversity of relationships in todays world. for example, this book may not translate well in multicultural relationships that are dictated by a whole different set of mores and values. also, i wonder how it would be relevant to queer couples or polyamourous relationships. its quite apparent that this book is meant for hetero-white-christian-monogamous couples.
but the one major caveat of this book that isnt so much a caveat as a poorly disguised advocate of misogyny, is the case of a woman who has been abused (what type of abuse has been perpetrated isnt made explicit and garys reluctance to do so makes me suspicious of how the church deals with issues of domestic violence). garys advice? dismiss any of your own feelings of discomfort (being used for sex) and have sex with your husband as an act of love and hope that he will reciprocate that love. and what i dont understand is how people have overlooked this, even people who are in the psychology field. thats one thing he doesnt really address, how to identify your limits and make compromises. if you cant see the problem with this picture, i pray you never get married. or have a relationship. or speak to people.
the gender roles in this book are fucking archaic. theres this little section where gary talks about the gender differences in sexual desire. according to him, these differences are all physiologically based. men simply have more tension built-up as a result of massive sperm generation whereas women dont, and that is why women dont crave sex the way men do. instead, women only want sex if their men meet their emotional needs. what, do men not need to have their emotional needs met? are they really just fucking animals who want to empty their over-spermed dicks? why dont they just jack off into a toilet for crying out loud? oops, am i not supposed to mention masturbation in the presence of god? and gary makes women seem like fucking prudes from the latest harlequin romance, the christian edition. gag. this man has very little knowledge of couples outside the realm of christian folklore.
his section on physical touch made me laugh. i wasnt sure if the lame attempts at humor were to assuage his own discomfort or that of his audience. yes, gary, people have sex. i understand that when you tell me to rub my partners leg with my foot that i should make sure im not rubbing the dog. harhar.
to be fair, he touched on the basic fundamentals of communication with your partner, but i can hardly call this book revolutionary. his book on the five languages of love for children sound more useful just because the developmental stage they are in matches the dumbed-down tone of the book. youd think he was writing for couples who were born in a vaccuum.
im so over reading new york times bestsellers. weve been brainwashed into accepting that the typical mainstream formula is quality literature. i prefer real talk to fluffy shit, thank you.
5 Biblical Words for Love
Lewis wrote a book called The Four Loves , dealing with the four classical loves, usually spoken of by their Greek names, Eros, Storge, Philia , and Agape. Those of us who have grown up in evangelical churches have probably heard of at least two. Although only two of these actual words Philia and Agape show up in the Bible, all four kinds of love are there. In this post, I want to define each of these terms, point to examples of them in Scripture, and exhort the reader to practice them in a godly way. This is the story of Boaz and Ruth.
Eros in the Bible
Understanding the four types of love in the Bible is very enlightening. Phileo love is friendship love or brotherly love like the platonic affection of David and Jonathan 2 Samuel The noun form, philia, appears much less often.
The first two listed below are found in the New Testament. Agapao verb is a special word representing the divine love of God toward His Son, human beings in general and believers. It is also used to depict the outwardly focused love God expects believers to have for one another. Reflecting the fact that human marriage is modeled after the divine relationship between Christ and the Church, husbands are told to love their wives with this kind of outgoing, selfless love Ephesians Ephesians 25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; 26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, 27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. He that loves his wife loves himself.
Did you know that there are four types of love found in the Bible? Over the years, scholars have broken down the text of the Bible and divided each example of love into one of our categories: Eros, Storge, Philia, and Agape. These four words are Greek for different kinds of love. Pronounced AIR-os, Eros is what we would call romantic love. This includes love found in Song of Solomon or even in unhealthy places mentioned where sex and sexual immorality become an idol for certain communities.
I t is clear from even a cursory reading that the Bible stresses the importance of love. It would not be an overstatement to say that every action that is pleasing to God is motivated by love. We say that we love broccoli and we say we love our spouses. This variety actually helps us in the work of translation because each of the four different Greek words carries a slightly different definition from the other three. This makes it a little clearer as to what the original means.