My mom is so controlling
If You Had Controlling Parents: How to Make Peace with Your Past and Take Your Place in the World by Dan NeuharthDo you sometimes feel as if you are living your life to please others? Do you give other people the benefit of the doubt but second-guess yourself? Do you struggle with perfectionism, anxiety, lack of confidence, emotional emptiness, or eating disorders? In your intimate relationships, have you found it difficult to get close without losing your sense of self?
If so, you may be among the fifteen million adults in the United States who were raised with unhealthy parental control. In this groundbreaking bestseller by accomplished family therapist Dan Neuharth, Ph.D., youll discover whether your parents controlled eating, appearance, speech, decisions, feelings, social life, and other aspects of your childhood—and whether that control may underlie problems you still struggle with in adulthood. Packed with inspiring case studies and dozens of practical suggestions, this book shows you how to leave home emotionally so you can improve assertiveness, boundaries, and confidence, quiet you inner critics, and bring more balance to your moods and relationships. Offering compassion, not blame, Dr. Neuharth helps you make peace with your past and avoid overcontrolling your children and other loved ones.
An Overprotective Mom Faces the Truth
If You Have Controlling Parents, NEVER Tolerate These 3 Things From Them
Show less It is common for children to feel like their parents are too reserved in letting them live their own lives. There are many reasons for the need to control your child, from being a perfectionist to being afraid that they will repeat your mistakes, and parents often do not even realize that they are harming their child instead of protecting them. If you have to cope with a controlling parent, who isolates, threatens, or constantly criticizes you, try not to obsess over pleasing them. Instead, focus on pleasing yourself, since this is your life to live and you can't change the way they feel. You are still responsible for how you react, so do your best not to get overly angry and escalate things.
Motivated, organized, and ambitious, Jill, a twenty-year-old college sophomore from London, Ontario, has been planning her future since she was a teen. Fashion is her biggest passion, and with several internships under her belt and a fashion merchandising major under way, she's working hard to achieve her dreams. But there's a big cloud hanging over her: her mom. We've gotten into tense discussions over what I want to do versus what she wants me to do," Jill says. Fifteen-year-old Francesca can relate.
If you think you have a controlling mother, then I am going to assume that you are not concerned about an aging parent who is leaning on you a little more in their old age. Nor are you in a situation where your mother has developed some illness or is grieving or has some other big recent change and because of the emotional upset she is more demanding.
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Resources for Dealing With Controlling Parents
This 5-star rated book on controlling parents is essential reading. Click here to read the reviews.
I was raised by a controlling mother who was extremely overbearing, and this has affected me throughout my life, especially my relationships and life choices that have gotten me to where I am today. But I have realized that my life is my own and no one elses. My childhood and adolescent experiences are examples of how controlling behavior can manifest. I hope by sharing these experiences, other people might realize a pattern in their own life, be able to make changes and take back control of their lives. I was born in Fort Lauderdale back in At the time, my parents had been married for nine years, and were on the verge of divorce.
Is your mother trying to control your life? Signs your mother might be controlling you can come out in your behavior and your feelings toward her. She might feel the need to insert her opinion into every single thing you do or she may go over your head to make decisions for you. Maybe you shy away from telling her about a decision you made because it differed from what she suggested. Maybe her presence annoys you so much that you find yourself spending less time with her.
I was inspired to write this article for Andy. Please feel free to share your experiences and thoughts on dealing with parents below. Just focusing on what works for you is enough to brighten your spirits just a little. You can only change how you deal with their controlling parenting style. Giving up hope may sound negative and depressing — but after you read my explanation and tips for coping with parents who try to control you, you may feel differently.