Examples of detaching with love
Detachment Quotes (165 quotes)
Detaching With Love In the Addictive, Dysfunctional Relationship
He should definitely stop drinking a Big Gulp of tequila in bed every night after losing all of his paycheck playing online Bingo, which was supposed to be spent on paying off our second mortgage. This doesn't mean we stick out a thumb and catch the next Greyhound to Memphis wearing nothing but a rhinestone tiara and a smile. What it means is that we take the important step in reclaiming our own lives and sanity, by allowing our spiritual teachers to solve their own problems, and by learning to
Detachment for Surviving Addiction
Detaching is the opposite of enabling because it allows people to experience the consequences of their choices and it provides you with needed emotional and physical space so that you can care for yourself and feel at peace. Codependents often find themselves in dysfunctional relationships where they spend an inordinate amount of time worrying and trying to control or fix other people. This is done with a loving heart, but it can become all-consuming. This can feel like an upside down roller coaster ride that never ends! It also prevents your loved one from taking full responsibility for their life and learning to solve their own problems. Detaching helps you to stay in relationship and not lose your sense of self. Detaching is similar to setting boundaries.
You're tired of living with an addict but can't leave. It's so painful and you don't know what else to do. There is a solution. You can regain your sanity by practicing detachment. Detachment is letting another person experience their consequences instead of taking responsibility for their problems.
For friends and family of a person dealing with alcohol or drug addiction , detachment can be a difficult concept to grasp. It gives you permission to let them experience any consequences associated with their drinking or drug use and focus on your own health and well-being.
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Trying to Control
This is my latest book and will answer so many of the questions that readers of this post may have. Terms like codependent, enabler, SLE, IOP, in-patient, intensive out-patient, AlAnon, NarNon , powerless over alcohol, dual diagnosis and co-addictions are batted about as if they are words in conversations we exchange with that nice check-out clerk at the grocery store. You are off your rocker. And when you think about it, it is all too much. It feels like being told you have to learn to read, write, speak and translate German and Chinese within the next month the time-period for the typical day, residential addiction treatment program or YOU will have failed.
Loving an addict is difficult, painful, and often lacks the emotional reward given by normal relationships. Persons who are addicted are often egocentric, reckless, and selfish, and often care more about their next high than a person who is giving up everything for them. Unfortunately, this behavior is unlikely to change, and for the most part, addicts will not change until they decide to do so for themselves. While it is easy to sacrifice yourself to care for and to try to help an addict, it most often does not work, and instead creates shared addictions and co-dependency, where you are unable to walk away from the addict because you are too emotionally invested in them. This kind of codependency often enables the addict to continue using, because someone is always there for them and caring for them, and typically taking the brunt of their mistakes. Unfortunately, few of us actually know what they mean.