How to deal with a borderline personality disorder spouse

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how to deal with a borderline personality disorder spouse

Loving Someone with Borderline Personality Disorder: How to Keep Out-of-Control Emotions from Destroying Your Relationship by Shari Y. Manning

People with borderline personality disorder (BPD) can be intensely caring, warm, smart, and funny—but their behavior often drives away those closest to them. If youre struggling in a tumultuous relationship with someone with BPD, this is the book for you. Dr. Shari Manning helps you understand why your spouse, family member, or friend has such out-of-control emotions—and how to change the way you can respond. Learn to use simple yet powerful strategies that can defuse crises, establish better boundaries, and radically transform your relationship. Empathic, hopeful, and science based, this is the first book for family and friends grounded in dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), the most effective treatment for BPD.

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Published 26.10.2019

Intense Relationships & Borderline Personality Disorder

Learning about the illness, validating their feelings, simplifying your message, encouraging responsibility, setting boundaries, and taking threats of suicide or self-harm seriously can make a significant difference in how you relate to your loved one. Borderline personality disorder BPD can be a seemingly all-consuming condition that weaves itself into emotions, behaviors, and relationships.
Shari Y. Manning

Living with & Loving Someone with Borderline Personality Disorder

Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured. We are a psychologically sophisticated society. Emotional difficulties are now shared openly — not only by celebrities but by your average person. Yet, there is a widespread psychological disorder that most people know little or nothing about. Because its symptoms are largely interpersonal, causing many to view it as a relationship issue, not a mental health one.

Before you can post or reply in these forums, please join our online community. I have been with him six years. I feel like I can't keep my head above water anymore. He refuses to get treatment, try counselling, or try at all. I can't keep doing this, but I'm trapped in his web.

Stephanie, of Jacksonville, Florida, has struggled with depression since she was a child. But in , her mental health took a turn for the worse and her mood swings started to create conflict with her husband, Jerome. At first, Stephanie was diagnosed with bipolar disorder , but when she found another doctor who took the time to complete a thorough evaluation, she learned the true culprit was borderline personality disorder BPD , which she was diagnosed with six months later. Borderline personality disorder BPD is a mental illness that can cause affected individuals to have a negative self-image, make risky or impulsive choices, engage in self-harming behaviors, and have intense emotions and mood swings. It goes without saying that these symptoms can create a perfect storm for a tumultuous relationship that in some cases may prove destructive. As of that month, the pair hadn't confirmed the cause of their split. That fear of abandonment can lead people with BPD to mistrust their partner.

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Helpful Strategies When a Loved One Has Borderline Personality Disorder

People with borderline personality disorder BPD tend to have major difficulties with relationships, especially with those closest to them. Their wild mood swings, angry outbursts, chronic abandonment fears, and impulsive and irrational behaviors can leave loved ones feeling helpless, abused, and off balance. Partners and family members of people with BPD often describe the relationship as an emotional roller coaster with no end in sight. But you have more power than you think. You can change the relationship by managing your own reactions, establishing firm limits, and improving communication between you and your loved one.

Before you can post or reply in these forums, please join our online community. I am married for 11 years with 2 kids 10 yr old and 6 yr old. A summary of her past includes history of verbal abuse from her father, lack of affirmation in her childhood years and she is generally an anxious person. She struggles with deep seated anger and resentment towards her father. She is anxious, indecisive and risk adverse. She is very sensitive to rejection.


  1. Audric B. says:

    While someone with depression or anxiety may feel that they are experiencing symptoms that are different from their normal state, people with personality disorders often fail to realize that their emotions and reactions depart from the typical human experience.

  2. Viridiana V. says:

    People with borderline personality disorder BPD often have rocky relationships, both romantic and platonic.

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